Love & Relationship

How to find pleasure in the 8 varieties of love

How can we define love? What does it mean to be happy? How do you define success? It would appear that these are the questions that we pose to ourselves the most frequently in our pursuit of a life that is rich in experience. Since the ancient Greeks are responsible for much of the knowledge and many of the technologies that are still in use today, we thought it would be interesting to go back in time and find out what they understood about love. Learn more, and find out how being aware of your own emotions may make you happier throughout your life.

Love, life, and happiness are inextricably linked concepts that collectively contribute significantly to our psychological well-being. Being loved frequently has a significant role in determining our level of happiness since it helps us feel accepted, understood, and like we belong somewhere. On the other hand, we could look for love in the wrong places, or our expectations might lead us to overlook the genuine love and pleasure that are there in front of us the whole time. When we think of love, we frequently think of happy endings to fairy tales. This is a belief that most of us developed as young children when watching Disney princess movies. It doesn’t matter what happened to the joyful couple when the screen goes dark; it’s irrelevant.

…and they lived happily ever after. THE END

But love is a complicated and potent energy, one that may be expressed in a myriad of ways and in a variety of settings, and it can develop and shift over the course of time. You could declare that you love your spouse, your family, your closest friend, your career, or even inanimate, material goods — things that could never give back the love that you pour upon them. The question is, how would that bring happiness to you? Let’s take a look at the various kinds of love, how to tell which one you’re experiencing, and why it’s necessary to include each kind of love into your relationships if you want your life to be happy and satisfying as a whole.
  1. EROS – ROMANTIC LOVE
    Eros, the Greek deity of fertility and the origin of the term “love,” is the first type of love. In modern parlance, this term refers to feelings of romance, passion, desire, and attraction. It is a metaphor for the intoxicating and exhilarating feelings that one has in the first stages of a romantic relationship. According to Greek mythology, one of Cupid’s arrows was responsible for causing this sort of insanity. Imagine yourself falling “head over heels” and “in love at first sight,” much as Paris did with Helen of Troy.

Eros is a flame that burns intensely and brilliantly, and while this kind of love may frequently transform into another kind over the course of time, the flame itself has to be fanned with other aspects of love or else it will go out.

  1. PHILIA – AFFECTIONATE LOVE
    Philia refers to the affection that blossoms over the course of a profound and ongoing friendship. It is not romantic in any way, but it is courteous, and it shows that you care sincerely about that buddy because you know you can confide in them and trust them completely. You might say that a friendship like this is equally as powerful as a love connection, in the sense that a “break-up” may cause the same kind of havoc with your emotions.

Spending quality time with your genuine friends and letting them know how much they mean to you is more vital than it has ever been in this day and age, when friends have devolved into faceless followers on social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter. Because from the early 1930s, the concept of friendship as a correlation with happiness has been acknowledged and investigated.

  1. STORGE – FAMILIAR LOVE
    Storge is a subtype of Philia that refers to the love that exists between a parent and a child, which is characterised by a deep connection, kinship, and familiarity. However, it may also refer to the love that exists between close family friends or friends who you have known since you were a child. This is a love that will not go away with the passing of the years. This emotional connection is intimately connected to memories, and the more significant memories you build, the deeper your relationship will be, and the happier you will be as a result.

4. LUDUS – PLAYFUL LOVE
The Ancient Greeks placed a high significance on a playful love as the fourth category of love. We’ve all had a taste of it at some point, whether it was in the playful banter and playful teasing that occurs in the early stages of a relationship, before all of the seriousness begins, or when we’re out at a bar dancing with complete strangers. The important thing is to enjoy yourself, flirt with others, and get a joyful sensation, even if there are no expectations or commitments involved.

Playfulness in a relationship is what keeps it alive, fascinating, and different, and as a bonus, it causes those delicious little butterflies in the stomach. Playfulness in a relationship is what keeps it alive.

  1. PRAGMA – ENDURING LOVE
    Pragma is a love that is founded on dedication, obligation, and understanding, and that has grown older and more developed over the course of time. It’s more than simply physical love or friendship; it goes far deeper than that. It’s a sort of love that’s not easy to find, but it’s the kind of love that lasts, and it’s the kind of love that two people who have given it their all, made sacrifices, and put in a lot of effort to keep the love they have for each other is what it is. Think of married couples who have been together for a very long time, or friendships that have lasted for a decade or more.

It is essential to not forget to cherish the people who have been by your side throughout all of this time. If you make an effort to look after the people who are important to you and cultivate meaningful relationships, you will be rewarded with feelings of emotional contentment and delight.

6. MANIA – OBSESSIVE LOVE
This is a pattern of compulsive romantic behaviour that occurs when there is an unequal balance of lust and passion between the two people involved. Instead of feeling equal, safe, and welcomed, one could require frequent reassurance from their spouse, which would build a level of emotional co-dependency that could lead to jealously and possessiveness. Just for the sake of argument, let’s pretend that in this scenario, it would have been preferable to have never loved at all. Danger Will Robinson!

7. AGAPE – UNIVERSAL LOVE
This love is unselfish, it does not have conditions, and it extends beyond who we are. A selfless care for the well-being of other people is one definition of the virtue of agape, often known as charity. It does not need a biological connection or a (romantic) tie that can be traced back to the Middle Ages; rather, it is something that just is. There is nothing to debate about this concept of universal loving-kindness, how you feel about a person, or how you feel about all living creatures, for that matter; you just love them without asking anything in return. It’s arguably the most unadulterated form of love there is.

It’s possible that the fact that these people are so welcoming contributes to the fact that they generally consider themselves to be quite happy and report very high levels of satisfaction in their relationships.

  1. PHILAUTIA – SELF LOVE
    There is romantic love, love that is fun, love that makes us feel scared, and love that is unconditional; yet, may this one be the most significant kind of love there is? After all, if we are able to grow to love and accept ourselves, aren’t we in a better position to love the people around us in a profound way? The ancient Greeks were ahead of their time in their understanding that before we can care for and love other people, we must first be able to turn these emotions inside and work through our own issues. It may appear to be self-evident, but the relationship that we have with ourselves is the one that will last the longest. This little meditation video by Erica Jago is an excellent tool for anyone who wish to strengthen their relationships not just with other people but, most importantly, with themselves.

One of the greatest delights in life is being able to love and be loved, regardless of who, what, or how it is that you love.

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