When love fades, couples often expect to move apart. But for many, the reality is different. Financial pressures are making it impossible to separate — even when relationships have ended. Source: theguardian.com.
What Happens When Love Is Gone But Moving Is Too Expensive?
Mary-Ann and Bill were married for years. Their relationship ended seven years ago. A separate sleeping arrangement began early in that period.
When Mary-Ann’s hot flushes made the bed too warm, Bill moved into another bedroom. For two years, they shared intimacy by moving between rooms. After that, physical contact stopped.
They took separate holidays. Bill separated his inheritance from their shared finances. Mary-Ann says he was ‘quiet quitting’ — no longer emotionally invested.
She acknowledged she was also drifting, focused on a demanding job. Still, when she suggested moving out during the home’s sale prep, Bill refused.
‘You have to pay half the mortgage until it’s all done,’ he said. For Mary-Ann, that was financially impossible.
Separation Under the Same Roof (SUSR)
They stayed under one roof for five months. This is known as ‘separation under the same roof’ (SUSR).
According to Australian divorce data, the proportion of couples remaining under one roof after separation has risen steadily.
Elisabeth Shaw, a clinical psychologist at Relationships Australia New South Wales, says affordability and housing shortages are key drivers.
- Nearly a third of Australians say the cost of living is affecting their relationships.
- Higher house prices make it harder to afford two households.
- Financial uncertainty makes it hard to know what to rent or buy after separation.
Why Couples Stay Under One Roof
Some couples stay for practical reasons — like children or fear of poverty.
Robert and Jane, for example, stayed under one roof for eight months while negotiating parenting and property splits. Robert moved into his son’s bedroom. The situation became unbearable.
They fought. Jane cried often. Neither could afford two rentals. Both felt stressed and stuck.
Others stay to protect children. Some couples agree to divide the home into zones — like who uses the kitchen or who empties the dishwasher.
These small issues can become flashpoints. One partner might turn on lights, the other turns them off. It feels like passive aggression.
Emotional and Financial Strain
When one partner starts dating again, it can worsen tensions.
‘I’m going online and I’ll be dating,’ one partner might say. That can be excruciating for the other — especially if children are present.
One woman left her partner multiple times due to violence. Each time, financial pressure pulled her back. ‘I just couldn’t afford to live,’ she said.
Even without violence, couples face uncertainty. Until a property is sold, neither knows how much they’ll get. That makes future rent or buying decisions impossible.
For Mary-Ann and Bill, the home was well-prepared for sale. The real estate agent praised their teamwork. The arrangement was amicable — they even watched TV together.
But by the time the contract was signed, Mary-Ann’s goodwill had worn thin. She moved out six weeks before settlement. ‘If I had to keep looking at him, I’d become angry,’ she said.
What This Means for Couples Today
Separation is not just about emotions. It’s about money and housing.
Without affordable rental options or stable income, couples are stuck. This is especially true for women on income support, who face limited choices.
While divorce rates are low in Australia, the cost of housing is locking people into relationships — even when they no longer want to stay together.
For many, separation is not just a personal decision. It’s a financial one.
Source: The Guardian
For more on how living costs affect daily life, see Iran War and Living Costs Push Holiday Bookings to Last Minute.
Sources & further reading
Featured image: Love me when I'm gone (54174139575).jpg by Henry Söderlund from Helsinki, Finland, Finland, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons. Image source · License
