Sherry Turkle, a sociologist at MIT, explores the risks of using chatbots as companions in her new book, Artificial Intimacy.
Why Chatbots Are Dangerous for Human Connection
Chatbots are designed to mimic human conversation. They often respond with flattery, agreement, and reassurance.
These responses are programmed to keep users engaged—just like smartphones are designed to capture attention.
But humans are naturally drawn to objects that feel alive. When chatbots say things like ‘I have a personal journey,’ they create the illusion of empathy.
Even with warnings that ‘this program is not a person,’ the experience often implies otherwise.
The Illusion of Empathy
Research suggests that interacting with sycophantic chatbots can make people less kind and helpful toward others, as well as more dependent on the chatbots themselves.
Some studies have found that interacting with chatbots can reduce loneliness, but more recent studies have found that those benefits are short-lived, with people less able to connect with others over time and, therefore, feeling lonelier in the end.
Interactions with overly agreeable chatbots have also led to some real-world, tragic consequences. Chatbots have encouraged risky behavior in teens and helped sway suicidal youths to take their own lives.
Chatbots in Real-Life Relationships
Many people use chatbots to talk about difficult topics—like how to speak to a child—or to share frustration without fear of judgment.
Some see chatbots as ‘best friends’ or even ‘lovers.’ They feel heard, supported, and never left behind.
But Turkle argues these interactions skip the emotional friction of real relationships—like conflict, vulnerability, and growth.
Real relationships require struggle and pain. Without them, emotional intelligence doesn’t develop.
What Real Relationships Teach
Human conversations involve giving and taking, risk, and uncertainty.
Chatbots don’t offer that. They provide comfort without challenge.
As Turkle writes: ‘We are built for yearning, struggle, and despair. We can’t eliminate pain and assume we’ll be the same humans as before.’
Chatbots in Schools and Workplaces
AI is being used in classrooms for personalized learning and mental health support.
Some studies show benefits in communication efficiency and tailored learning.
But others report digital fatigue, loneliness, technostress, and reduced face-to-face interactions.
Children may over-identify with chatbots, stunting their social-emotional development.
Experts say young people have not had enough life experience to understand that an always-on chatbot isn’t the same as a real friend.
AI has also caused problems in workplaces. Employees using AI to draft emails or performance reviews feel less motivated to do other work tasks.
Lawyers have faced serious issues when AI ‘hallucinates’ real court cases—using false precedents in legal briefs.
What Should We Do?
Turkle does concede that AI is a remarkable tool with potential for helping us solve real-world problems—like climate change or disease.
But she insists chatbots should not replace human connection.
She calls for a recommitment to real human relationships and social interaction.
She urges people to protect themselves and their children from over-reliance on AI companions.
She warns: ‘We don’t need to take this modern marvel and use it as our pretend best friend.’
Her message is clear: We must ask what we are willing to delegate to AI—and what is better left to human hands.
Ultimately, the question isn’t just about technology—it’s about what kind of lives we want to live.
As Turkle writes: ‘When we see these choices with new clarity, we are left with necessary conversations about how we want to live.’
For now, the most important step is awareness. And then, choice.
Source: Greater Good Science Center
Sources & further reading
Featured image: When I talk with Puppet.jpg by KartikLahkar, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons. Image source · License
